• Follow The Universe on WordPress.com
  • Advertisements

Some Quickies…

The past week has been quite eventful, full of little stories all over the Universe. First, the debt ceiling finally got raised, and then…our credit rating was downgraded by S&P from AAA to AA+. Not a big deal, until the Dow plummeted, signaling that I guess it was a big deal according to those Wall StrWeebs. I could really care less, sure, that’s our lowest credit rating since S&P has been around, but this is also the same S&P that gave a AAA rating to loads of sub prime credit default swaps. Now, if that sounds like a bunch of jibberish in that previous sentence, all you really need to know is that those credit default swaps served as the Darth Vader of our economy crisis, and S&P was essentially the Sith Lord, pumping Darth full of evil moral support in the form of AAA ratings for these walking debt builders.

Stevie Will

Tiger's Latest Divorce-Victim; Guess Which One Is Sadder?

The world of sports saw Tiger Woods dump his caddie, then saw said caddie turn around and win this past weekend’s World Golf Championship with his new beau, Adam Scott. Again, I could really care less. Caddies are important, and Stevie Williams (Woods’ ex-Caddie) is the best caddie there is. But, I’d say at best, a caddie has a 5% influence over a golfer’s performance, which is less than the 8-10% I give to NBA coaches. Simply, if Erik Spoelstra can coach a team to the NBA Finals, well, Woods can win again without Stevie Williams. Side note: Is it just me or does the name Stevie Williams not conjure up images of the slowest kid in your elementary school classes? Not the slow, separated from the rest of us kid, but the kid who, I don’t know, maybe never showered before coming to school. His hair was always fucked up, and he wore sweats tucked into his socks. Not the kid who shit his pants, but probably the next worst kid, the one who your parents never want you hanging with. Not because he’s setting fires, but, well “I don’t want that Stevie Williams coming over here, you know that. He’s just weird, and I don’t want him teaching you bad habits,”. Some of those bad habits include eating boogers, not wiping properly, not liking boobs, and…pissing off Tiger Woods.

The NFL saw the Eagles continuing to add to their Jew Hoard of talent; now with DeSean Jackson showing his face around camp. We also saw Tim Tebow create a controversy by doing his hardest not to create a controversy. Now, as the #2 QB (where he rightly belongs at this moment) Tebow can get back to worrying about pumping Baby Jesus and Jockey tees.  In baseball we saw the Sox take 2 out of 3 from the Evil Empire over the weekend, Yesssir! But, the Phillies keep fucking ROLLING, and I think the Giants already regret dealing for Carlos Beltran.


And then…there is music. I talked briefly about the big release of this week, last week, and now I’m going to touch on it a little more as Kanye West & Jay-Z dropped their highly anticipated collaboration, Watch the Throne (WTT) on ITunes yesterday. I bought it, I will not lie. And, since I decided to buy the album, I fed right into the corporate mega-beast monopoly that the pair hoped to create upon release of this album. The music industry typically goes with a solid release date, usually on a Tuesday, when consumers can head to their local record shop and purchase a hard copy of the album on the first day it hits the shelves. At the same time it releases in stores, it is usually made available for download on ITunes (when ITunes was around, anyway). Well, the thing with getting the hard copies to the stores is that somewhere along that huge manufacturing line which goes: from studio, to label, to distributor, to brick and mortar store, to your hands; somebody snags a copy for themselves. Because the process from studio to store is so long, a lot of times record stores have the physical copies of an album several days before it is to be released, so you can see how somebody grabbing a copy say, in the warehouse where they make them, could cause problems. And, this usually leads to an album leaking out to the public in advance and making it a pirate’s dream.

Kanye & Jigga decided to get around that by changing the entire system. Kanye’s G.O.O.D. Music label is notoriously difficult to pirate no matter the release, so of course its president is going to make his albums THE hardest. Instead of opting for a traditional release, the pair went with an ITunes only release on August 8th, and the in-store release on August 12th. This lets them ship out the hard copies pretty much at the same time they release the digital copy. As a result of this, a couple of things will without a doubt happen.


Kanye/Jay Morphed Face: No, This is Not the Head Monkey in Rise of the Planet of the Apes

First, album sales will shoot up. No more pirating will more than likely lead to better album sales, especially for the big names and especially for WTT. Second, expect this release method to become a trend. This will without a doubt become the standard method of delivery for any and all big name musical acts from here on out. It simply works too well in the anti-pirating category. Finally, it will shut down music stores…for good. By pushing back the hard copy release, musicians in effect give the digital market a serious head start on the consumer demand. Shit, WTT is already on track to sell 400-500K in its first week, according to Billboard, and record stores will only be able to get about 2 days worth of that week-long sales figure. This release method ultimately does one thing: it makes the rich, richer and the poor, obsolete. An already struggling record store industry will undoubtedly receive the finishing blow from a surging ITunes monster, and we can expect to see more boarded up retail spaces throughout our country.

But, after giving a listen to this album, that is just as Kanye & Jay seem to want it. Arguably, the two biggest/richest names in hip-hop got together to make a super album. It just seems like…well…the hip-hip got lost in translation. Kanye is easily one of my favorite hip-hop artists there is. His beats are beastly and his rhymes used to be more backpack than Kat Stacks. But, there’s something about this album that as a middle-class, college loan paying, 9-5 working American, pisses me the fuck off.

Excess. It’s all over this album. From the release method, to the hideous cover art I could have shit out but is “groundbreaking” because some dude named Tisci designed it, to the pillowy content: this album is exactly what hip-hop shouldn’t be. Every song is filled with references to blowing coke off model broads or having more power than Obama, but still I listen. It feels good, in my ears, the music is beautiful. The flow is remarkable, it has the makings of a classic. But, when I really listen, I’m hearing mid-90’s Puff Daddy shiny suit raps. Two MCs who have lyrical capability for DAYS fall short because they can’t walk away from all the things they have.


Mr. Hoodie Allen

It’s sad, honestly, when the most introspective, real rhyme on the entire album is a blatant rip-off of the amazingly talented Andre 3000 when Jay spits on “Welcome to the Junle”: (I asked her where she wanna be when she 25/ She turned around and looked at me and said ‘alive’). Sorry, Jay, Andre already perfected that on Outkast’s “Da Art of Storytellin Pt.1” (Talkin bout what we wanna be when we grow up/ I said what you wanna be, she said ‘Alive’), and the HMMMMM that Andre adds to the end of that line is exactly what I’m thinking as I listen to this album, HMMMMM.

So, in the end, did I purchase this album? Yes. Did I throw it onto a CD, and do I now bump it in the whip? Yes. Did I feel a bit used as I bought this album for $14.99 on ITunes? Yes. Did I get an eerie sense of guilt as I paired this purchase with a simultaneous free download of 5 albums by the unsigned NYC MC Hoodie Allen (@HoodieAllen)? Yes. Do I feel like hip-hop is dead after this ordeal? No. Hip-hop is alive and well…you merely have to look for it…not on the radio, though. When it comes to the radio, it’s kinda like, when you stop looking you will find. You don’t go to the club to find a wife, and you don’t go to the radio to find hip-hop.


It’s Been a Long Time…

I know I’ve been missed. Shit, it’s been months since my last update here, but I’ve been a busy dude. Made a trip to Miami, copped a new job, finished up the school year…and really, I’ve just been hella lazy. I know I’ve missed SOOOOO god damn much, but I’m gonna try to fast forward back to the now in this one single post.

First off, we got BIN LADEN!!!! I’m not one to celebrate the death of anybody, but I like this and I like it a lot. Reason being, this sends the message that if you plan on hurting innocent Americans, you can count on us hunting you down and serving justice on a delicious plate of left-eye destruction.

Mavs won the NBA chip, and the Bruins won the CUP! I like it, I like it a lot. Dirk, my blonde-haired blue-eyed brother from another finally gets the chip he had stolen from him back in Donaghy-gate. This without a doubt cements Dirk as an all-time great. Boston is now officially titletown, and since its about an hour and change from me, I dig that. While we’re on the subject, however, bring back the WHALERS!!!!!

A lot of quality music has dropped since my last visit, I’ll run through a quick list here and add some of my favorites at the bottom. Dom Kennedy- 2: From the Westside with Love, Chris Webby- Webster’s Laboratory, Grives- Together/Apart, Classified- Handshakes and Middle Fingers, Curren$y- Weekend at Burnie’s, Big Sean- Finally Famous, Bad Meets Evil (Royce & Eminem)- Hell, just to rattle off a quick list. I love summer time mayyynnneee!!!!

Some Quickies..

Soul Tape

F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S dropped a mix tape last week. The Soul Tape is Fab’s first release in quite awhile, from what I can remember. Fab’s definitely one of the most slept-on rappers out there in the mainstream right now. I think Fab and Luda are two rappers that get a lot of airplay, but people don’t know how good they actually are. Their radio hits are big-time, I mean shit, they both pump out MTV ready singles like nobody’s business, but at the same-time they can fuckin rhyme.

Fab’s mixtapes are ALWAYS on point, so go cop this one and enjoy some quality wordplay and lyricism. Datpiff.com. If you haven’t gotten a membership on there yet, fuckin’ do it. It’s free. They don’t spam you. And you get pure free music, legally!


On my facebook page, I often like to post various music that I enjoy. Sometimes it’s a song that I can’t stop listening to at the time, last week I posted Yelawolf’s “Pop the Trunk” for instance, and sometimes it’s a musician that I think more people should know about. I’m gonna extend that FB posting to here and start up a lil sub-section of Some Quickies… entitled:


So Episode one of shit you should be listening to! stars one of my favorite rappers that does NOT have enough fans, Blu. Check out his mixtape Her Favorite Colo(u)r on datpiff, as well as his album with beatmaker Exile, Below the Heavens. 

Blu’s a rapper out of Los Angeles, and no he’s not the typical LA gang-banger/rapper. He’s a conscious/reality rapper in my book, and he’s been puttin out quality shit for the past couple of years. He’s made albums with the rapper Ta’Raach under the group name C.R.A.C. Knuckles (The Piece Talks, check that album out), and with the rapper Mainframe under the group name Johnson & Jonson (self-titled album is well worth the look).

Here’s some of Blu’s best, in my opinion. The first track is from his solo mixtape, the 2nd is from his album with Exile, and the final one is from his album with Mainframe, as Johnson & Jonson (check the DOPE John Lennon sample).


The Arrival to Mt Athos

Witnessed a hell of a 60 Minutes episode last night. I’m a big fan of the television journalism show that airs every Sunday on CBS. That’s not very typical for a dude my age, seeing as how their main viewer demographic has gotta be 50+. But I love the show, partly because of the skill of their hosts, partly because of the content of their stories, and partly because of the sometimes breath-taking cinematography that shines through. Last night, they did a story on Mt. Athos, a Greek peninsula in the Aegean Sea that is home to 20 monasteries. To check out the story and some video of it, click here.

I was impressed with this story for a number of reasons. First, the simple idea of this place is amazing. It’s literally untouched, in any way, by any form of outside civilization. In order to even VISIT the place, you need to get a certified visa from the monks themselves, which could take years. If you’re a woman, you’re not allowed, no exceptions. And if you’re anything but an Orthodox Christian, chances are you won’t be granted a visa either. As far as becoming a monk in one of these monasteries, the story said it’s harder to be accepted into a Mt. Athos monastery than it is to be accepted into Harvard. It’s amazing to me that these dudes live like this, prayer literally 24/7, 3 hours of sleep, 20 minutes of mealtime per day, and they’re the only people in the WORLD known to still live by the Byzantine clock (time starts at sunrise, 1 o’clock would be when the sun has been up for one hour). Once accepted into the monastery, you’re there for life. The spirituality was literally overflowing from the screen. I respect that.

Isolation In Its Purest State

Another thing that impressed me was these monks’ devotion and self-sufficiency. As a mid-20 year old who still has no clue what he’s going to be doing for the rest of his life, I was thoroughly awed by the way these men left behind their entire beings to follow Christ. Their communities are entirely self-sufficient, as each monk has a different job/specialty. There was a doctor, an engineer, and of course several farmers and cooks. As the monks tended to olive trees and various other fruits and vegetables they grow, their lips were moving the entire time, uttering prayer. It was fascinating. One monk even told a story of receiving a phone call from one of the two phones on the entire mountain. It was his dying father, whose final wish was for his son to visit him on his deathbed. The monk said he did not visit his father before he died, nor did he want to, because Saint Paul said to “pray always” and he was confident he would see his father in the afterlife.

But the thing that truly impressed me the most, was the stunning beauty of the entire mountain. To experience this, you’ve got to watch the video yourself. Monasteries are built on the edges of cliffs overlooking the sea like medieval castles. The Greek landscape that surrounds is mountainous, and forested. The trees, ocean and mountains combine to create a heavenly landscape that couldn’t possibly be duplicated by the most skilled artisans. Just witnessing the story, on mute, made me feel closer to God myself, I can’t even imagine being there.

Yes, Motherfuckers DO LIVE Here!

I honestly wish the monks would allow in more visitors. I know this would defeat their whole purpose, and threaten their lifestyle which is more 1st century than 21st, but I just want to go there and experience this place. If anybody out there can pull some serious cards and get me a month’s long visit to Mt. Athos, let me know. I’d even take part in their prayer, grow my beard out, and not jerk-off for the entire time!

In all seriousness though, I’m not a religious man by any means. I believe in nature and doing good. I’m aware of the insignificance of human kind, while at the same time I’m aware of the massive amounts of power that a single human can possess. God, Allah, Yahweh, whatever you may believe in, whatever you follow, so long as you have faith in something and you follow that faith in a nonviolent, non oppressive manner, I support it. But in seeing this story, and the video that accompanied it, I really can’t help but envision myself becoming a holy man at this site. How can you not become devoted to Christ when living here, when you are literally submerged in Orthodoxy 24/7.

I support devotion like this, and it’s good to see a religion outside of Islam practicing with such devotion. I’m also very proud to see, as an American, Christianity being practiced in such a manner, WITHOUT any militant fanaticism. My pride in this coming from the fact that America is envisioned world-wide as a Christian state (obviously despite the fact that America IS a state which demands religion be separate from state, but hey, we’ve got some of our own politicians still believing that Obama wasn’t born here so we can’t fault outsiders for getting some askew facts).

And yes, I did just start a post with a Fabolous mix tape, and then transition into one of the holiest places on Earth as a closing piece. That’s the kinda shit you get here in the universe.

At the Edge of the World

Some Quickies…

Just copped a new IPhone 4 for Verizon. Been waitin for my upgrade period for a long time, I’m amped right now, though I will definitely miss the texting ease and BBM app of my blackberry.


Ground Up Mixtape

Some new beats for this past week. Saw some new shit I’ve never heard of on Datpiff and I decided to take a gander. Pretty fuckin satisfied with that decision, to say the least, as I happened across a TOUGHHHH mixtape by the Philly trio Ground Up. I’ve never even heard of ’em before I downloaded this tape, but from what I’ve found out online is that they’ve been around since 2008 and they’ve opened for Rick Ross, Mac Miller and Chris Webby, amongst others. You can check out their site right here (wordpress brethren).

Their newest release, Up Late, is hosted by Dj Don Cannon (an ex-Dj Drama Aphilliate, and easily the most talented) and has a guest appearance by Freeway as well as Peedi Crakk. Cop the mixtape, worst case scenario is you’re not feelin it. Best case is, you get a quality album to bump in the whip, as I did.

Here’s one of my favorite tracks from the mixtape:

“Let It Go”


Still very little motion on the NFL lockout front. Though we could see some headway soon, as court-ordered mediation will begin to take shape. The NFLPA is hoping for the courts to lead mediation, and of course, the owners would prefer a federal mediator. How much money is enough for NFL owners, for real?


Glenn Beck’s leaving FoxNews, some say because of sagging ratings, others say to start his own network and pursue other endeavors. Whatever the reason is, FoxNews just made a little jump in my credibility book. Stop having Sarah Palin on every 2 hours and it might suddenly sky rocket.


Laurent Gbagbo

The former leader of the Ivory Coast has finally been taken into custody. The clown pictured to the left here lost the national election about four months ago, then decided that he wasn’t going to relinquish power as president of the African nation. Not only that but he then decided to turn his army on the people, massacring hundreds of civilians in an attempt to gain retribution and maintain power.

Fuckin’ A man, only in Africa, huh? Can’t imagine George W. pulling this in ’08 had he run. That woulda been some funny shit though, dumbo hiding under his desk as the entire country stormed his “palace”. And what the hell’s wrong with this guy? If he wanted to stay in power still, why didn’t he just fix the elections like you’re supposed to do? Fuckin’ guy.

Budget Buzzer Beater…

Reid (D) & Boehner (R)

So ahhhhh, I don’t know how much anybody’s really been paying attention to this, but as you may or may not have known, our federal government was scheduled to completely SHUT DOWN yesterday due to an expiring budget and the absence of a new agreement. However, thanks to the heroics (imagine that) of our AMAZING leaders, this crisis (kind of, not really though? So what if some national parks and tax-service helplines get shut down) was averted via last-second agreement between the Republican-led House of Representatives (headed by John Boehner), and the Democrat-led Senate (headed by Harry Reid).

In what to me seemed more like a Democrat vs. Republican version of “whose dick is bigger?” than an actual budget disagreement, I’m very surprised this impasse was remedied. For weeks it had been reported that the sticking point was the Republicans desire to cut 61 billion dollars, while the Dems were only willing to cut 31 billion. No, you’re not alone in wondering aloud, Are you serious?! Can’t we use simple pawn shop rhetoric here? I mean, I see that fat bastard Chumlee do it all the time on The History Channel’s Pawn Stars:you’ve got a number in mind, I’ve got a number in mind, let’s meet in the middle and call it a fuckin’ deal, yo! However, this is politics, and despite the fact that settling on a budget that cuts 46 billion dollars would have been the easiest solution to the problem, it would not have been the proper, governmently way to do it.

Chum's Got the Solution, No?

That, and it has recently been reported that it was not just a disagreement on spending, as you may have been led to believe. It was more a disagreement on policy, specifically the federal support being given to Planned Parenthood as well as the regulatory power of the Environmental Protection Agency, or as their kelly green-emblazoned gear refer to them as, the EPA. In other words, this budget disagreement boiled down to abortions and pollution (Don’t forget the “and”, because abortion pollution is a whole other monster. Personally, I’m sick and tired of wading through floating fetuses on my beach, son of a bitch, stop dumping the babies!). Republicans want to cut any funding that MAY, somehow, in a slight trickle-down, 3000 hands after funding, aid abortion. I’ve yet to take a solid stand on abortion, because it seems like there’s no in-between on the issue in the eyes of America, but in my opinion I do believe women should have a choice, especially if they have been raped. I also believe using abortions as a form of birth control goes entirely against the purpose of them, and any woman using them for that purpose should not only be disallowed to have an abortion, but should be jailed for their ignorance. If condoms don’t work for you, that’s why they sell the FUCKING MORNING AFTER PILL!

I’m also not a super believer, one way or the other, when it comes to our environment. I don’t have the desire to strap myself to a tree trunk when I see a bulldozer approaching it, nor do I think dumping toxic wastes in a river gives nature character. I understand that EPA restrictions could possibly turn some companies away from manufacturing in our country. But I also believe that if a company decides to manufacture in Mexico instead of America because they wanted to bury 21,000 tons of toxic waste beneath a residential neighborhood, we’re better off as a nation without their investment money (The Republicans had more beef with the EPA’s ability to enforce the Clean Air Act than they did with toxic waste issues, but whatever, it’s all a part of mother nature). The EPA possesses regulatory rights as a form of checks and balances, much the way unions possess collective bargaining rights, so as not to abuse the power but to have it as a weapon just in case somebody else decides to abuse theirs.

Fortunately, these two Republican-led crusades were not upheld, as a budget agreement was made which will see 39 billion dollars worth of cuts happening in the coming year. Boehner (that’s pronounced bay-ner, not bo-ner as his actions may suggest at times)  has said that the budget will lead to over 500 billion dollars worth of cuts in the next decade. But, what does this 39 billion dollars really mean in comparison to the 3.7 TRILLion dollar, and growing, deficit that we currently possess? What does it mean when compared to the proposal made by Congressman Paul Ryan which would have seen the government cutting 6.2 trillion dollars this year? Well, it means a lot.

Obama: We're only thiiiiiis far off...

You can’t just turn around and cut spending by 6.2 trillion dollars when you’re 3.7 trillion in debt. That’s such a drastic measure, that the country would surely go into a free fall. The 39 billion dollar cut is step 1, the biggest spending cut in the country’s history. This cut will make it easier for the country, and more importantly the politicians, to again agree on “the biggest spending cut in the country’s history” in 2012. This agreement needs to be the beginning of a trend, one which sees our national budget being trimmed annually, until we’re in the black again, and from there it needs to be maintained, or cut some more. Shit, when you see a national corporation in severe debt, they don’t completely shut down all stores and hope to make money through corporate HQ. They consolidate, year by year, cutting back growth and spending, until they’re again in a position to make an increase (unless they’re involved with Wall Street, in that case they’ll probably just sit around and wait for the government checks).

Let’s hope that this step 1 is continued for the foreseeable future come budget time, and I think that with the homeboy Obama in office, it certainly will. I wouldn’t say that this agreement created or restored any type of faith that I may or may not have in our government. I wouldn’t say that it suddenly made me a believer in the two-party system. But, I would say that it did make me smile a bit, as well as making me somewhat proud to know that we as a nation can have this type of snafu, and ultimately solve it, without any bloodshed or abuse. It also proved to me that the Republican party, which has at times recently come across to me as an Anarchist sect, isn’t as crazy and far-off as they like to make themselves out to be, and maybe, just maybe, they aren’t in CAHOOTS with the Tea Party as much as I thought they were.



Some Quickies…

Obama’s speech last week regarding his reasons for intervening in Libya (which I touched on here) took place with the typical results. Innocent civilians this, America’s responsibility that. I was neither moved, nor angered by the address, and I think it just continues his status quo standing. I was, however, very impressed with the honesty of Obama when he boiled the reasonings behind the action down to a simple, singular one: “When our interests and values are at stake, we have a responsibility to act”. Dude gave it to us straight as to why we’re not going to help out in the Ivory Coast, or why we stayed out of Sudan- we’ve got no interests in those countries. Libya holds valuable interests for us, namely oil, and that’s why we’re bombing them.

I can respect that honesty. At least there was no fabrication of WMD’s, or a USS Maine like blame game. It boiled down to Gaddafi fuckin up our money flow, and Barracka Flakka let that be known.


I’m still bumpin that Big K.R.I.T. album hard. Return of 4Eva is a must-have folks. Dude jam-packs the disc with 20 tracks (+ 2 edited versions) of brand new material. It’s downloadable for free all over the net, check out datpiff or simply Google it for a link.

Krit’s from Mississippi, and his style’s definitely Southern. And he’s got some lyrical skill to go along with a sound that hearkens memories of an early 3-6 Mafia. Throw in some definite Outkast inspiration, and some West Coast flair that reminds me of Warren G in his prime and you’ve got Krit. Check this track, “Time Machine”, from the album:


A Scene Featuring The Dapper Dons

Just watched the movie Takers, which has a heavily hip-hop influenced cast led by T.I. Starring alongside TIP is Chris Brown, pre-dresing room freakout, post-woman beating, and Idris Elba, famous in hip-hop circles for his timeless role as Stringer Bell on HBO’s The Wire. What most people don’t know about Elba is that he’s a native Englishman, and he has a HEAVY British accent which is on display in this movie (he deserves all the awards in the world for playing Bell, a Baltimore drug lord, WITHOUT a British accent). Hollywood will definitely be calling Brown again, as he was enjoyable to watch in this film.

Overall, a quality flick. Check it out if you’ve got time to spare on an exceptional action-thriller. Nothing ground-breaking in the plot department here, just the typical rat-pack, bank robbing joint. But it’s made well, and proves to be entertaining.


India won the World Cup of cricket over the weekend, defeating Sri Lanka. Wahoo! I don’t care. You don’t care. Few in the USA care. But they won it for the first time in 28 years, so good for them.


The 2011 NBA Hall of Fame class was announced today. Headlining the group are Dennis Rodman and Chris Mullin. Rodman gets voted in for his outstanding rebounding and defensive skills as well as for his part with the original Bad Boys of Detroit and the 90’s Chicago Bulls dynasty. Not entirely sure why Mullin made it in. He was a star at St. John’s, and an above average ballplayer throughout his career, but he never struck me as much more than a white Mitch Richmond, and he surely wasn’t elected based on his horrendous GM stint with the Golden State Warriors.

Alongside Rodman and Mullin in the class are coaches Tex Winter, Tara VanDerveer and Herb Magee as well as NBA players Arvydas Sabonis and Artis Gilmore, and Olympian Teresa Edwards. Good look on that Sabonis election, and here’s to the anticipation for Rodman’s acceptance speech in August!


The Barry Bonds perjury trial is on hold for now, as one of the jurors is apparently battling side effects related to gallstones. The trial will likely resume within a week, so the Feds’ raging hard-on for making Barry squeal will certainly not be subsiding.

I hate this trial. I hate everything having to do with the government’s involvement in steroids in any sport. People laugh and throw criticism at the Utah senator trying to make the BCS a political matter, then cheer when senate devotes an entire session to steroids. The only difference between the two is that the BCS places power in the hands of the superior, while steroids seemingly places the power into the subordinates.

You’d be hard pressed to find 15 baseball fans who truly believe Bonds did NOT take some sort of PED. The guy’s public image in everywhere but San Francisco is down there on-level with such media darlings as Jack Kevorkian and OJ Simpson. I can almost GUARANTEE he won’t make the baseball hall of fame (see: Mark McGwire), and despite his stats, not a single baseball expert will even glance at him when talking about the best players of all time.

This huge stink comes down to Bonds lying under oath. Do we really need to invest such time and money into a trial for this? When Bonds denied knowingly using PEDs in the first place, the judge should have simply stopped, told the court to regard Bonds’ previous statement as fiction, and resumed. Instead, a massive dragging out is going to take place. It’s ridiculous. It’s comical. It’s simply, excess.

And about Barry: yeah he roided. So did Mark McGwire. So did Jose Canseco. But so didn’t Nook Logan, Marvin Benard, Adam Piatt and Todd Hundley to name a few. You see any of those bums jacking homers like Barry did? Aside from McGwire (who’s still 179 jacks behind Bonds), no. There’s a reason Bonds hit them out more than anybody else, and that’s because the man’s one of the greatest left-handed hitters of all time. His swing is a work of art. I dare anybody to try to go inside on Barry Bonds. That ball’s going OUT. What he did off the field is one thing, and if he wasn’t such a prick to the media or a social recluse, people’s opinions of him might be less harsh. But, Barry was Barry. And his off the field issues do not overshadow, in my opinion, his historic on the field talent, or statistics.

Almost Sweeter than Griffey's. I SEE YOU BARRY!

We’Ran Fire…

Afghanis Protest in Kandahar

So, apparently that fucking retard of a human being, Terry Jones, went through with his plans to burn the Islamic holy book in a display of his radical Christianity-ness a little more than a week ago. This wacko preacher from Florida was talking about doing this act of “protest” for a long time, and he ultimately decided to go through with it despite a lot of people telling him not to.

Anyways, what that has led to now is a massive uprising/protest in Afghanistan, and I’m sure eventually other Muslim countries, who are enraged with the act. Afghanis have apparently already killed 10 people (mostly Afghani policemen/UN employees), and injured nearly 100.

Now, I’ve got some opinions on this matter, that I really wish parties on both sides could hear out. Honestly, I’d like to slap the SHIT out of both the preacher and the violent protesters. But, unfortunately I can’t do that due to time constraints, so what I can do is do my own little e-Rant, because that’s how motherfuckers do it these days! No?

So, up first is this moron Terry Jones. As an American citizen, I support Mr. Jones’ rights to do whatever the hell he so pleases. If he wants to denounce the Islamic religion, picket against condoms and dental dams, finger-fuck his wife, or simply sit on the front step of his church and fart the alphabet, that cocksucker can do it. I support his rights to be ABLE to burn the Qu’ran (so long as he alerts the proper local authorities of his intentions to create a contained fire, in advance). What I don’t support, is the moronic thought process that got him to the point of believing that burning the previously mentioned Qu’ran, is a good fucking idea.

I’m all about evaluating the potential results of large-scale life decisions before undertaking them. For instance, I recently made the decision to purchase a relatively new vehicle for myself. It was a 2005 Chevy Malibu (it’s not as pussy as it sounds, I swear). Before making this purchase I looked at the potential results of buying or not buying a new vehicle. I thought if I buy this vehicle, best-case scenario- I get a reliable, gas-friendly vehicle at an affordable rate. Worst-case scenario- I buy a lemon and get stuck re-selling the whip for a slight loss. Then I thought if I didn’t buy this vehicle, best-case scenario- I continue to drive my ’89 Buick Park Avenue, dumping thousands of dollars into gas and repairs over the next three years, until it finally explodes, while being ridiculed by my professional peers, and friends. Worst-case scenario- I drop another 2-3K worth of repairs into the Park Avenue over a few short months, before it finally explodes within the next year. In the end, it just fucking made sense to buy the new whip!

Now Mr. Jones, you’ve GOT to try this way of making decisions on for size. You obviously didn’t, but just for the hell of it, I’m gonna run through this for you right now. If you decide NOT to stage a public burning of the most holy book in the Islamic religion, your BEST-case scenario is such- you still let the world know how much you absolutely DESPISE the Muslim people through various public protests and internet rants while avoiding truly-inspired Muslim wrath by NOT destroying their holy text. Worst-case scenario, see: best-case scenario. It’s a fuckin win-win for Dick Jones.

Now, if Mr. Jones decides TO stage a public burning of the Qu’ran, here’s what his BEST-case scenario would look like- Jones lets the entire planet know how much he DESPISES the Muslim world and simultaneously incurs the wrath of billions of both violent and non-violent Muslims throughout the world, while severely affecting his country’s national security for many years to come. Ehh, kinda rough, but here’s the worst-case scenario- Jones’ display gets his opinions known, while simultaneously incurring the wrath of billions of Muslims world-wide, thus triggering instantaneous backlash against the United States, as well as planting the seeds of motivation for future violent acts to be taken against said country, and endangering the lives and well-being of countless innocent civilians world-wide. Fuck. If only this guy had thought about his actions ahead of time? Maybe he would have made a better choice of action, or non-action?

So yes, Terry Jones has the decision-making ability of a drunk, 15-year-old-female-trailer park-resident just coming off her period. But let me move on to addressing those Muslims in Afghanistan, and any other future Muslims world-wide who intend to react to this dimwitted display with violence.

The little guy with ALL the power

DO NOT lump our entire country into kahoots with this back-country fuck. This isn’t our president choosing to invade your land. This is not George W. fabricating some WMD bullshit to justify dropping bombs on your head. This is a single, radical nut, making a terrible decision, much the way single, radical nuts lead to 9/11 and various other attacks on America. If it was up to me, I’d be more than happy to ship Jones out to Kandahar tomorrow, to let him face a trial by jury, and then get stoned to death in your backyard. Well, once you guys set up a legitimate legal system, anyway, I’d be right on that.

Next, tell me how reacting with violence is going to show or prove anything? By killing policemen and UN workers, you simply show other countries how far you are as a nation from being able to function as a member of the coherent world. Take to the streets and protest the action. Take to the internet and voice your opinions. Don’t take to your guns and blaze anybody associated with any form of government. Ultimately, what does America, or Terry Jones for that matter, care about some dead Afghani policemen? These violent actions are exactly the reasoning Dick Jones uses to justify his actions. Islam is a peaceful religion, please, exemplify that peacefulness in denouncing the act as a united group, policemen and citizens. Any follower of Islam should be offended by this act, and since I’m assuming the policemen killed were Muslim, why should they have to suffer for this? They’re just as offended as well.

I just beg of the Muslim world to look in the mirror and understand their actions, and potential future actions, before they take them. Dedicate yourself to understanding the implications of your actions the way that Terry Jones did not. Understand that the idiotic actions of a few are enough to ignite world-wide chaos. Revel in your own country’s potential to succeed instead of continually reveling in the destruction of another.