It’s Been a Long Time…

I know I’ve been missed. Shit, it’s been months since my last update here, but I’ve been a busy dude. Made a trip to Miami, copped a new job, finished up the school year…and really, I’ve just been hella lazy. I know I’ve missed SOOOOO god damn much, but I’m gonna try to fast forward back to the now in this one single post.

First off, we got BIN LADEN!!!! I’m not one to celebrate the death of anybody, but I like this and I like it a lot. Reason being, this sends the message that if you plan on hurting innocent Americans, you can count on us hunting you down and serving justice on a delicious plate of left-eye destruction.

Mavs won the NBA chip, and the Bruins won the CUP! I like it, I like it a lot. Dirk, my blonde-haired blue-eyed brother from another finally gets the chip he had stolen from him back in Donaghy-gate. This without a doubt cements Dirk as an all-time great. Boston is now officially titletown, and since its about an hour and change from me, I dig that. While we’re on the subject, however, bring back the WHALERS!!!!!

A lot of quality music has dropped since my last visit, I’ll run through a quick list here and add some of my favorites at the bottom. Dom Kennedy- 2: From the Westside with Love, Chris Webby- Webster’s Laboratory, Grives- Together/Apart, Classified- Handshakes and Middle Fingers, Curren$y- Weekend at Burnie’s, Big Sean- Finally Famous, Bad Meets Evil (Royce & Eminem)- Hell, just to rattle off a quick list. I love summer time mayyynnneee!!!!

Some Quickies…

Obama’s speech last week regarding his reasons for intervening in Libya (which I touched on here) took place with the typical results. Innocent civilians this, America’s responsibility that. I was neither moved, nor angered by the address, and I think it just continues his status quo standing. I was, however, very impressed with the honesty of Obama when he boiled the reasonings behind the action down to a simple, singular one: “When our interests and values are at stake, we have a responsibility to act”. Dude gave it to us straight as to why we’re not going to help out in the Ivory Coast, or why we stayed out of Sudan- we’ve got no interests in those countries. Libya holds valuable interests for us, namely oil, and that’s why we’re bombing them.

I can respect that honesty. At least there was no fabrication of WMD’s, or a USS Maine like blame game. It boiled down to Gaddafi fuckin up our money flow, and Barracka Flakka let that be known.

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I’m still bumpin that Big K.R.I.T. album hard. Return of 4Eva is a must-have folks. Dude jam-packs the disc with 20 tracks (+ 2 edited versions) of brand new material. It’s downloadable for free all over the net, check out datpiff or simply Google it for a link.

Krit’s from Mississippi, and his style’s definitely Southern. And he’s got some lyrical skill to go along with a sound that hearkens memories of an early 3-6 Mafia. Throw in some definite Outkast inspiration, and some West Coast flair that reminds me of Warren G in his prime and you’ve got Krit. Check this track, “Time Machine”, from the album:

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A Scene Featuring The Dapper Dons

Just watched the movie Takers, which has a heavily hip-hop influenced cast led by T.I. Starring alongside TIP is Chris Brown, pre-dresing room freakout, post-woman beating, and Idris Elba, famous in hip-hop circles for his timeless role as Stringer Bell on HBO’s The Wire. What most people don’t know about Elba is that he’s a native Englishman, and he has a HEAVY British accent which is on display in this movie (he deserves all the awards in the world for playing Bell, a Baltimore drug lord, WITHOUT a British accent). Hollywood will definitely be calling Brown again, as he was enjoyable to watch in this film.

Overall, a quality flick. Check it out if you’ve got time to spare on an exceptional action-thriller. Nothing ground-breaking in the plot department here, just the typical rat-pack, bank robbing joint. But it’s made well, and proves to be entertaining.

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India won the World Cup of cricket over the weekend, defeating Sri Lanka. Wahoo! I don’t care. You don’t care. Few in the USA care. But they won it for the first time in 28 years, so good for them.

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The 2011 NBA Hall of Fame class was announced today. Headlining the group are Dennis Rodman and Chris Mullin. Rodman gets voted in for his outstanding rebounding and defensive skills as well as for his part with the original Bad Boys of Detroit and the 90’s Chicago Bulls dynasty. Not entirely sure why Mullin made it in. He was a star at St. John’s, and an above average ballplayer throughout his career, but he never struck me as much more than a white Mitch Richmond, and he surely wasn’t elected based on his horrendous GM stint with the Golden State Warriors.

Alongside Rodman and Mullin in the class are coaches Tex Winter, Tara VanDerveer and Herb Magee as well as NBA players Arvydas Sabonis and Artis Gilmore, and Olympian Teresa Edwards. Good look on that Sabonis election, and here’s to the anticipation for Rodman’s acceptance speech in August!

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The Barry Bonds perjury trial is on hold for now, as one of the jurors is apparently battling side effects related to gallstones. The trial will likely resume within a week, so the Feds’ raging hard-on for making Barry squeal will certainly not be subsiding.

I hate this trial. I hate everything having to do with the government’s involvement in steroids in any sport. People laugh and throw criticism at the Utah senator trying to make the BCS a political matter, then cheer when senate devotes an entire session to steroids. The only difference between the two is that the BCS places power in the hands of the superior, while steroids seemingly places the power into the subordinates.

You’d be hard pressed to find 15 baseball fans who truly believe Bonds did NOT take some sort of PED. The guy’s public image in everywhere but San Francisco is down there on-level with such media darlings as Jack Kevorkian and OJ Simpson. I can almost GUARANTEE he won’t make the baseball hall of fame (see: Mark McGwire), and despite his stats, not a single baseball expert will even glance at him when talking about the best players of all time.

This huge stink comes down to Bonds lying under oath. Do we really need to invest such time and money into a trial for this? When Bonds denied knowingly using PEDs in the first place, the judge should have simply stopped, told the court to regard Bonds’ previous statement as fiction, and resumed. Instead, a massive dragging out is going to take place. It’s ridiculous. It’s comical. It’s simply, excess.

And about Barry: yeah he roided. So did Mark McGwire. So did Jose Canseco. But so didn’t Nook Logan, Marvin Benard, Adam Piatt and Todd Hundley to name a few. You see any of those bums jacking homers like Barry did? Aside from McGwire (who’s still 179 jacks behind Bonds), no. There’s a reason Bonds hit them out more than anybody else, and that’s because the man’s one of the greatest left-handed hitters of all time. His swing is a work of art. I dare anybody to try to go inside on Barry Bonds. That ball’s going OUT. What he did off the field is one thing, and if he wasn’t such a prick to the media or a social recluse, people’s opinions of him might be less harsh. But, Barry was Barry. And his off the field issues do not overshadow, in my opinion, his historic on the field talent, or statistics.

Almost Sweeter than Griffey's. I SEE YOU BARRY!

The Fighter

Updating some thoughts I posted about a month ago in regards to this years Academy Awards, I have officially seen The Fighter! I made the comment that I would give the best picture award to this movie, despite having not seen it, just based on premise alone (adaptation of the life of “Irish” Micky Ward). Now, having seen the movie, I would like to expand upon my Oscar comments:

First, Christian Bale was 100% the right pick to win the Oscar for best supporting actor. As Dicky Eklund, Bale was the anti-Batman that we’re all so used to seeing Bale portray. Just check out the picture above. The fuckin guy deserves the Oscar just for completely making himself over for the part. And his acting, holy shit. He played such a good crackhead has-been, at times I could have sworn I was watching scenes from a Tina Turner biopic. If you ran into Bale in Eklund mode on the street, the first thing that’d come in to your head is how cheap he’d offer to suck your dick for. He was scary good before I even saw his real-life inspiration. But then, Wahlberg throws in a cut of the real Dicky at the end of the movie, and I think he did that simply to solidify Bale’s Oscar claim. Bale copied his squirreliness and paranoid behavior perfectly. Check out the real Dicky here (not the scene from the movie). The bottom line of this, is that Bale turned in one of the greatest acting jobs since Annabel Chong’s attempts at taking 300 logs in one laying.

The next thing I’ve got to say about this movie, is that after seeing it, I still hold firm in my stance that it should have won best picture. Entertaining from beginning to end, with great acting performances from Bale as well as Amy Adams and Melissa Leo and a wonderful directing job by the severely underrated David Russell, this film deserved the honor. I will be seeing King’s Speech shortly, but I doubt there’s much that film can do to knock me from this stance. I mean, I’d have to see some serious conquering of physical disabilities, and humor and heartbreak along the way. I’m talkin’ Rain Man levels. Wait, that was the tagline for the movie? Rain Man-level disabilities and humor? Really? Oh, fuck. Well, I’ll let you know how it goes when I get there.

Oscar de la Word?!

Who Cares

The Academy Awards were last night, and I’ll join the nation of chooches commenting on them. First things first, I must say that I did not watch them. These things aren’t like the Grammy’s where I’ll at least DVR that shit so I can watch the performances (side note regarding Grammy performances: get me some of the paper that Cee-Lo’s been lickin’). No, the Oscars are a complete waste of time, and I look forward to the day that the whole show is abolished and we announce winners via leaks and press conferences a la MVP’s and such in sports. So, I would love to comment on how fruity James Franco was and how stunningly adorable Anne Hathaway came across while hosting, but no such luck. I’m sure tits and Saul were exemplary hosts.

The big winner of the night was King’s Speech as it took home best picture and best actor (Colin Firth), among other awards. The Fighter played an admirable second-fiddle, winning both genders’ supporting role awards (Christian Bale & Melissa Leo), and Natalie Portman got the nod for best actress in Black Swan. Of those three movies, I have only seen Black Swan, and yes it would be perfectly reasonable to question my manhood seeing as how I have seen a movie entitled “Black Swan” before seeing one entitled “The Fighter”, but whatever, a fuckin’ movie ticket is 11 dollars these days, I can’t just go shelling that out left and right and sometimes I’m at the mercy of the broad I’m going with. From everything I have heard (not from the media, but from people I actually know, and can touch, and can punch in the face if they’re wrong), King’s Speech deserved every second of praise, as did The Fighter, and for my money, Black Swan was definitely enjoyable and Natalie Portman’s sexy-self deserves every award ever in my book.

I have a question about the nominees for best picture, though. What the fuck? When did 10 movies make the cut for best picture? There aren’t even 10 fuckin movies playing in my local theater right now, why the hell were 10 movies up for the award? I’ve got what the real line-up should have been right here and the cuts that should have happened along the way:

First, take Toy Story 3 out of there. I like Pixar-type movies just as much as the next 5-year old, but I’m not ready to crown any of them picture of the year until one comes along that leads to peace in the Middle East, or Baron Davis joining Jenny Craig (both would be miracles of the same magnitude).

Next, let’s take Winter’s Bone out of there too. Didn’t see it (I do plan to), but any movie title that can seamlessly double as a porno cannot win picture of the year (I already have a title for the sequel- Winter’s Bone 2: Jacking Frost).

Next, let’s take out True Grit. I love Jeff Bridges (The Dude abides), but I saw this flick and any movie with Matt Damon NOT starring as an ass-kicking secret agent or a disheveled poop-cleaner is not Oscar material, plus that little girl was fuckin ANNOYING.While we’re at it, 127 Hours, you’re gone, just because if Franco didn’t win anything for Pineapple Express, he doesn’t get anything, EVER. The Kids Are All Right and The Social Network, you’re the next two to hit the chopping block. Definitely enjoyable movies, but they’re just on there to raise the Academy’s street cred. I know this is how these two came about their nominations:

Random Academy Exec 1: “We’re really falling out of favor with our younger demographic, what can we do about this?”

Random Academy Exec 2: “I got it, let’s nominate that Facebook movie for Picture of the Year. Those kids love doing that Facebook thing, they’ll definitely respect us if we do that. And, while we’re at it, let’s JOIN Facebook. This way, we can friend our kids, and, slowly, all of our kids’ friends, so we can keep watch on everything that’s COOL.”

RAE 1: “Excellent idea. I praise your intuition, I’ve always wanted to extend my awkwardness into a realm of communication that’s cool with my kids so maybe they confuse it with style and grace.”

RAE 2: “I know it, me too. Know what else we can do? We can nominate that movie about the same-sex parents, all those young democrats will really respect us then.”

RAE 1: “Yes, brilliant! We’ll be in their favor in no time, it’ll be like we’re talking right to them: “We see you out there, twittering and facebooking for your gay rights and world peace. We see you, and we applaud you.”

RAE 2: “Right! But they won’t win though.”

RAE 1: “Oh, no. No fucking chance.”

So that leaves us with four nominees: The Fighter, The King’s Speech, Black Swan, and Inception. I’m being very kind by allowing Inception to stay in the race, because really, any movie that can’t be explained by its own director should not be allowed to win any awards, (Read Chris Nolan’s half-assed attempt at artistic ambiguity here: http://www.wired.co.uk/magazine/archive/2011/01/play/inception-director-lives-the-dream)

Now that we have the true nominees for picture of the year, we proceed on like this. Inception does not win, see above for reasoning. Black Swan is out, because, well it’s a movie about ballet, and we’re not the French. Of the final two, we have a movie about the times of a real-life, bad-ass Irish boxing legend, and a movie about a stuttering King George VI who battles against the odds (see: the white, upper-class verison of Radio). Common sense tells us, this is America, we gotta have the Irish Rocky winning this, no? No, exactly. The King’s Speech in a landslide because, well, we’re not French but we’re damn near English, and this is ART!