KnickerBombers…

Fucked Around n Got a Triple Double

Great weekend for Boston sports, but a tough weekend for my Knicks. I was in attendance on Friday night to witness utter domination on the Celtics’ part, and I was proud to take part in a raucous BOO-ing of the pitiful home team. Rondo, Pierce and Allen KILLED it, and even though I’m a basketball fan first and foremost (and I truly appreciate a great performance no matter who the team) I wanted to run onto the fuckin’ court and punch that little shit Rajon Rondo right in his alien dome. The dude’s got a 5th gear that’s ridiculous and he sees the court like an ugly, black (Flavor-Flav) version of Steven “Canadian Bacon” Nash.

As great as the three mentioned above were, the home team was equally as awful. From the opening tip, with the building ROCKING and the fans going NUTS, the Knicks didn’t even show up. Amare looked about as formidable in the paint as an elderly Vlade Divac, and ‘Melo was shootin more blanks than Jimmy “Three-Hour Cialis-aided Swollen” Johnson. Shawne Williams and Ronny “Heartbeat” Turiaf were the most impressive Knicks to me, and they’re like, numbers 8&9 in a 7-man rotation.

Shit was embarrassing, honestly, and I took pride in boo-ing the Knicks out of the building. I drop 250 bones on a 65-dollar ticket to see the first playoff game @ MSG in 7 YEARS, and not only do I get to see my squad get blown out, but I didn’t even get a free t-shirt. What did MSG have on hand to celebrate this monumentous occasion? Fuckin’ orange rally towels. And they can’t even be called towels in my book, they’re fuckin WASH cloths. Little, tiny, 5X5 orange towels. Just large enough to wipe the sweat from the brows of the entire Knicks team (that was an insult based on how little they actually worked, therefore, producing a very small amount of sweat, ya know?).

Fortunately for me, I’m also a fan of Boston sports. Outside of the Knicks and Thunder, I’d say the Celtics are my 3rd-favorite team in the league. The Red Sox and Bruins happen to be my VERY favorite teams in their respective organizations, and in the NFL, NO I’m not a fuckin’ Patriots fan (Bears, let’s GO!). How I happened into this motley crew of favorite teams is happenstance. I witnessed a Sox game at the age of 10, therefore making me a fan forever, and where I live it’s either the Sox or the Yankees, and the Yanks represented pure sissiness in my mind at the time, considering every Yankees fan I knew was a boner. The Bruins happened to have a SICK logo which appealed to me as a child, so I stuck with them. The Knicks, well Pat Ewing and John Starks. And Da Bears? Brian. Urlacher. There you friggin GO.

Beside the point, Boston completely dominated the sports arena this weekend. The Celts swept the Knicks on the way to winning 4 straight. The Bruins came back to take a 3-2 series lead against the Habs, thus winning 3 straight, and the Sox are now on a 5 game tear themselves and have won 8 of their last 9 after starting 2-10. Boston’s got their shit goin’ on right now, and I’m proud of that. Since the Knicks are gone, I’m pulling for a Thunder-Celtics finals, which would be paired nicely with a Bruins-Blackhawks Stanley Cup Finals. Combine that with the fact that the Red Sox will more than likely win out for the rest of the year, and despite this dude’s amazing heartbreak at seeing his favorite team of all being the only team swept from the NBA playoffs, I think I’ll be able to find some type of solace.