We’Ran Fire…

Afghanis Protest in Kandahar

So, apparently that fucking retard of a human being, Terry Jones, went through with his plans to burn the Islamic holy book in a display of his radical Christianity-ness a little more than a week ago. This wacko preacher from Florida was talking about doing this act of “protest” for a long time, and he ultimately decided to go through with it despite a lot of people telling him not to.

Anyways, what that has led to now is a massive uprising/protest in Afghanistan, and I’m sure eventually other Muslim countries, who are enraged with the act. Afghanis have apparently already killed 10 people (mostly Afghani policemen/UN employees), and injured nearly 100.

Now, I’ve got some opinions on this matter, that I really wish parties on both sides could hear out. Honestly, I’d like to slap the SHIT out of both the preacher and the violent protesters. But, unfortunately I can’t do that due to time constraints, so what I can do is do my own little e-Rant, because that’s how motherfuckers do it these days! No?

So, up first is this moron Terry Jones. As an American citizen, I support Mr. Jones’ rights to do whatever the hell he so pleases. If he wants to denounce the Islamic religion, picket against condoms and dental dams, finger-fuck his wife, or simply sit on the front step of his church and fart the alphabet, that cocksucker can do it. I support his rights to be ABLE to burn the Qu’ran (so long as he alerts the proper local authorities of his intentions to create a contained fire, in advance). What I don’t support, is the moronic thought process that got him to the point of believing that burning the previously mentioned Qu’ran, is a good fucking idea.

I’m all about evaluating the potential results of large-scale life decisions before undertaking them. For instance, I recently made the decision to purchase a relatively new vehicle for myself. It was a 2005 Chevy Malibu (it’s not as pussy as it sounds, I swear). Before making this purchase I looked at the potential results of buying or not buying a new vehicle. I thought if I buy this vehicle, best-case scenario- I get a reliable, gas-friendly vehicle at an affordable rate. Worst-case scenario- I buy a lemon and get stuck re-selling the whip for a slight loss. Then I thought if I didn’t buy this vehicle, best-case scenario- I continue to drive my ’89 Buick Park Avenue, dumping thousands of dollars into gas and repairs over the next three years, until it finally explodes, while being ridiculed by my professional peers, and friends. Worst-case scenario- I drop another 2-3K worth of repairs into the Park Avenue over a few short months, before it finally explodes within the next year. In the end, it just fucking made sense to buy the new whip!

Now Mr. Jones, you’ve GOT to try this way of making decisions on for size. You obviously didn’t, but just for the hell of it, I’m gonna run through this for you right now. If you decide NOT to stage a public burning of the most holy book in the Islamic religion, your BEST-case scenario is such- you still let the world know how much you absolutely DESPISE the Muslim people through various public protests and internet rants while avoiding truly-inspired Muslim wrath by NOT destroying their holy text. Worst-case scenario, see: best-case scenario. It’s a fuckin win-win for Dick Jones.

Now, if Mr. Jones decides TO stage a public burning of the Qu’ran, here’s what his BEST-case scenario would look like- Jones lets the entire planet know how much he DESPISES the Muslim world and simultaneously incurs the wrath of billions of both violent and non-violent Muslims throughout the world, while severely affecting his country’s national security for many years to come. Ehh, kinda rough, but here’s the worst-case scenario- Jones’ display gets his opinions known, while simultaneously incurring the wrath of billions of Muslims world-wide, thus triggering instantaneous backlash against the United States, as well as planting the seeds of motivation for future violent acts to be taken against said country, and endangering the lives and well-being of countless innocent civilians world-wide. Fuck. If only this guy had thought about his actions ahead of time? Maybe he would have made a better choice of action, or non-action?

So yes, Terry Jones has the decision-making ability of a drunk, 15-year-old-female-trailer park-resident just coming off her period. But let me move on to addressing those Muslims in Afghanistan, and any other future Muslims world-wide who intend to react to this dimwitted display with violence.

The little guy with ALL the power

DO NOT lump our entire country into kahoots with this back-country fuck. This isn’t our president choosing to invade your land. This is not George W. fabricating some WMD bullshit to justify dropping bombs on your head. This is a single, radical nut, making a terrible decision, much the way single, radical nuts lead to 9/11 and various other attacks on America. If it was up to me, I’d be more than happy to ship Jones out to Kandahar tomorrow, to let him face a trial by jury, and then get stoned to death in your backyard. Well, once you guys set up a legitimate legal system, anyway, I’d be right on that.

Next, tell me how reacting with violence is going to show or prove anything? By killing policemen and UN workers, you simply show other countries how far you are as a nation from being able to function as a member of the coherent world. Take to the streets and protest the action. Take to the internet and voice your opinions. Don’t take to your guns and blaze anybody associated with any form of government. Ultimately, what does America, or Terry Jones for that matter, care about some dead Afghani policemen? These violent actions are exactly the reasoning Dick Jones uses to justify his actions. Islam is a peaceful religion, please, exemplify that peacefulness in denouncing the act as a united group, policemen and citizens. Any follower of Islam should be offended by this act, and since I’m assuming the policemen killed were Muslim, why should they have to suffer for this? They’re just as offended as well.

I just beg of the Muslim world to look in the mirror and understand their actions, and potential future actions, before they take them. Dedicate yourself to understanding the implications of your actions the way that Terry Jones did not. Understand that the idiotic actions of a few are enough to ignite world-wide chaos. Revel in your own country’s potential to succeed instead of continually reveling in the destruction of another.

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