The Final Four for men’s college basketball is set, and it’s a hell of a fuckin’ spread needless to say. On one side we got 8th seeded Butler going up against 11th seeded VCU, the highest cumulative ranked final four matchup ever (19, which is miles ahead of the previous record of 14- 11 George Mason vs. 3 Florida). The other side has 3rd seeded UConn going up against 4th seeded Kentucky, in a Maui Invitational championship game rematch from earlier in the season.
The Butler game will be a wash, as good as VCU has been playing, this Butler team just does it. What an amazing story, a year after coming from nowhere and making the championship game, they do it again. Honestly, after last year’s tourney I was saying to myself how much of a fluke it was that Butler made the finals last year. I couldn’t believe it, Butler?! I just foresaw the Sports Illustrated commercial that offers a subscription paired with a special edition plaque/t-shirt combination of the current champion along with it. I had to punch myself, several times, just with the thought of that t-shirt emblazoned with “Butler”. Shit was unbelievable. Now, just a year later, they’re back in the same position. Not only are they back, but they’re sans lottery pick Gordon Heyward. That’s impressive, and something tells me that basketball Jesus fully intended for that last second prayer by Heyward to go in last year, and this is why they’re back this year. Or, Brad Stevens is perhaps the greatest basketball coach of all time?
The UConn/Kentucky matchup is going to be a hell of a game. Kentucky knocked out my beloved Tar Heels, and UConn reps my home state, so I am 100% biased in my fandom for this affair. But, I think UConn’s equally magical, Butler-esque run is finally going to stall out in this game. Brandon Knight is a special player, and as good as my boy Kemba is, I think Knight is equally as good. And for the first time this year Kemba will not be head and shoulders above the competition in the speed department (did you fucking see this Wildcat team run my Heels completely off the court?!). I think Kentucky wins this one with relative ease, and makes it to the finals against Butler.
Anddddddd, Butler wins it. They’ve made a living off of beating athletic, sharpshooting teams, and I don’t think Kentucky has enough experience/grit (see: 2010 Duke) to knock them off. What a fucking story this will be if Butler comes through. If only they had a mentally challenged team manager or something. Then we’d definitely see a movie made within the next year or two. The plot: despite losing superstar Gordon Heyward a year earlier, the team came together the following year at tourney time after finding inspiration in their down syndrome stricken ball boy, ironically named “Gordy”. During the championship game, Gordy gave them a harrowing speech to rile the group up, and once the final buzzer sounded, Gordy dropped dead on the sidelines.
I don’t know why Gordy’s gotta die, or how down syndrome has suddenly become a life threatening affliction, but I don’t make these fuckin rules, Hollywood does. SHeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiit (clay davis voice)
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