Only Mormons…

Goonies…would self-inflict such a wound that all but destroys their brightest hopes ever of a national championship in college basketball. Brigham Young University, the school that brought us Jimmer! has announced that it has dismissed starting PF Brandon Davies (the Goonie pictured at left) for the rest of the season for violating the school’s “honor code”. Davies is not their best player, but the dude’s averaging 11 per, and is one of the few big men the Cougars have. Think of it like Lamar Odom going out for the Lake show just as the playoffs started, still got Kobe and Pau, but the depth and length takes a hit. (side note: I am in no way comparing the talents and skills of Brandon Davies to URI’s finest, Lamar Odom). They’re gonna miss a dude who had 14 pts and 15 boards in an 8-point victory over Colorado State just a week ago.

My first thoughts upon seeing this story: There are black Mormons?!

Honestly, I just thought black athletes were brought in to supplement the program’s athletic teams to make sure they weren’t last in every sport they participated in except swimming. I figured, like most other universities, they made exceptions for athletics. I always thought the school’s AD found a loophole: “Yeahhhh, Brigham Young did say that only pale, boring white guys could have six wives, but, he never said anything about 6-foot-9 power forwards from Provo hooping for us.”

Well, there are black Mormons, and apparently they’re held to the same standards as those boring polygamists, as are all athletes. At first, I was like, ya know, good for them (BYU). In this age of Cam Newtons, Reggie Bushs, John Caliparis, etc., etc., etc., we’ve got a school really standing out in regards to player conduct and responsibility. But then, I looked into some “honor code” violations and I decided, What the fuck, BYU?!

Imagine this Salt Lake Tribune headline: Starting PF Booted for Booting Up Boobs, or Starting PF Excused for Double Venti, or Starting PF Put Out for Puffing, or even Starting PF Cursed for Cursing. All of these are possibilities under the school’s honor code, as students are prohibited from drinking (coffee/tea/booze), using tobacco, swearing (fuck that), growing facial hair, and lying.

Imagine we find out that Davies was kicked off the team for lying about leaving a terd in the toilet. I’d love to see that episode of CSI: Salt Lake. The university calls in Horatio and his boys to get to the bottom of the mystery involving Davies and his roommates, and they end up linking Davies to the floater even after all stool samples prove inconclusive after Davies gets caught bragging around campus about how much he likes corn because “You get to see it twice”.

This is just mind-numbing to me. Thanks to experts who have more investigative abilities than myself, it has been found that there were no criminal reports filed in the area involving Davies, so its not like it was a legal matter. And I say in the world of college sports, it’s all good until the police get involved (unless you’re Urban Meyer, then it’s not good UNTIL the police get involved). Couldn’t BYU just suspend this dude for a game or two? Maybe they could have put him on academic probation, or mailed a letter to his parents, or, fuck, anything else than just booting him for the year.

I’m all for cleaning up the college game, but I think the athletes are the least at fault. Get the agents and boosters out before you start gung-ho-ing the players. If Cam Newton’s saga and the OSU Buckeye football players represent one extreme of college sports disciplining, this BYU saga is at the other extreme end of it. We need to find a nice middle ground here, and I know that BYU is a bad example because it is such a religious university, but I think it’s in perfect contrast to what we usually see in regards to discipline (or lack thereof).

I’ll still be watching the Cougars come tourney time, JIMMER!, but I won’t be expecting as much from them. Don’t expect any Mormon Tom Bradys stepping into Davies place, but I do expect Jimmer carrying them to the round of 16.

(Side note: I have nothing against Mormons in any way shape or form. I support all religions when people practice and worship appropriately and nonviolently. Shit, I play basketball in a Mormon church every once in a while, and I even cut down on the swearing, just for the Latter Day Saints.)

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